I Have Magnetic Legs

Well that can be the only explanation. Unless the system is just flaky of course.
Let me explain. I live in London, where the public transport system is divided into circular zones. The further out of the centre you live, the more you pay for your all zone ticket – or travelcard.
A couple of years ago we were introduced to the Oyster Card – a smart card system that removed the need for paper tickets with magnetic strips. Instead of putting your card through a slot, you just swiped your Oyster Card and the gates opened. Magic!
Except I get on an overground station, and although the Oyster system could work there, the fact that the gates to the station aren’t permanently manned means that travelers can’t use all aspects of the Oyster system.
I get an annual travelcard from my local station and each day I have to use it at least twice to get through barriers – as I say, there are no barriers at my station, otherwise I’d have to use it a lot more. A piece of cardboard being used several times a day is not going to last a full year, so every so often I had to get it replaced. This would happen a couple of times a year. I’d always go to the station at the weekend, because you can’t possibly realise how complicated a procedure this is. The assistant has to find my details on the computer system, invalidate my previous card and then issue a new one. He or she then has to print it, and write on it. A bore, but an infrequent bore.
I did once go very early in the morning during the week to get it replaced, and got told off my the ticket assistant for attempting something so rash at such a busy time! The assistant’s incompetence meant that it took a full ten minutes to get a replacement issued.
But last year something changed. My ticket stopped working just a week or so after getting it. I got a replacement. That lasted a few days before it again stopped working. When tickets stop working in a station, you have to wander around looking for a station employee to buzz you through the barrier. Often you have to queue behind someone who hasn’t paid for their journey, and are arguing their point. It’s terribly frustrating.
By now I was convinced my ticket wallet had somehow become magnetised – the tickets work on a paper magnetic strip system. I replaced the wallet. The ticket stopped working again. I got another new plastic wallet, and kept my ticket in a different pocket altogether, well away from my wallet. It stopped again. I removed my photo card (you’re supposed to keep it with your ticket) and put the travelcard in its own entirely separate wallet. It stopped working once more.
You can’t believe the frustration. I’ve had perhaps seven or eight cards in less than twelve months, all of which have stopped working. Yesterday it stopped yet again – the card only being a week or so old. As I say, I can only think I have magnetic legs. Is something in my diet giving me too much iron?
People who live in London will probably be laughing and pointing at me asking why I don’t get an Oyster Card. Although the pay as you go system doesn’t operate in my locale, the annual card system does. The problem is that I still have several months to go with my current card before I need to renew, and I have some serious issues with the Oyster system. You can be tracked quite successfully with it, and I quite like my civil liberties (Yes, I know that by having my mobile switched on, I can be tracked quite effectively enough thank you – check out the recent Google Maps update for an idea of the precision available).
But enough is enough. Come and find me authorities! Next time around it will be an Oyster Card.
There is one additional advantage that the ticket assistant who sold me my last card pointed out (even though he can’t sell me an Oyster Card) – you can cancel them. When I first got my annual travelcard, I lost it within a month. The rail company issued a replacement, but sent me a letter explaining that this was the first and only time they’d do this since the lost card was still ‘live’, and I could be a fraudster (They didn’t spell it out in quite these terms, but that was certainly my understanding). They suggested that in the future I might like to look into seeing if my home contents insurance covered any further losses. At least with Oyster Cards, you can cancel them remotely, like mobile phones, ensuring that your personal losses are minimised.


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2 responses to “I Have Magnetic Legs”

  1. Robert Price avatar

    You don’t keep your ticket near your mobile phone, or other electronic device do you?

  2. Adam Bowie avatar

    I don’t.
    In the past I’ve tried keeping it so far away that I’m barely in possession of it.