Private Eye’s “Remote Controller” writes a summary about the health of the various main TV channels as we leave 2004 and enter 2005. I thought I’d contribute my own summary of where they stand.
BBC1
Not doing badly – not doing wonderfully. Yes, we all know that the charter’s up for renewal and we’re seeing a few more “worthy” programmes being slipped into the schedules at 9.00pm on Wednesday nights. Drama has seemed strong enough to me, but comedy probably needs some attention – maybe even something as ordinary and everyday as the sitcom. I’m looking forward to seeing what According to Bex is like when it starts tomorrow. I also want to see what’s done with airtime freed up by programmes like Changing Rooms (which is finishing – and yes it was probably a mistake to carry on airing the special episode they showed over Christmas where they did up the homes of some of those who had them ravaged by floods in Boscastle last summer while at the same time thousands were losing their lives at the same time. Are they going out to Sri Lanka next?) and Ground Force (for which the end must surely be nigh). Reliance on reality shows seems to have lessened with no return of Fame Academy, but I’d like to see some kind of popular science show introduced – science extends beyond nature and biology programmes.
BBC2
Remote Controller in Private Eye points out that actually BBC2’s not doing badly and is instead being deprived of programming by the needs of BBCs 1 and 3. BBC1 has just taken Little Britain, while BBC3 gets to premiere programmes, and get the attendent notice, for stuff that BBC2 would otherwise have shown. It’s the same old story, but I really don’t think that running exclusive showings of new shows on digital channels early does anything for either the digital channels themselves, or the success of the programmes. Remote Controller gives Bodies as a case in point. BBC2 does need some kind of Simpsons replacement which it has yet to find, but then I don’t think it’s as desperate as some might have it. Drama is strong, and arts coverage too. I’d like to see more foreign language films shown on BBC2 rather than gheotoised on BBC4. And speaking of ghettos, you get the feeling that some superb documentaries are being wasted when they’re put out in the BBC4 on BBC2 post-Newsnight slot.
ITV1
This is probably the channel I can say least about since I watch so little of its offerings. Sport is now really limited to the Champions League and F1, about which few care, although those who do probably mean it pays its way in terms of advertising. The early evening hours are no go areas to me, drowned in soaps. Even stuff I’d have once watched like The Bill, have become unwatchable due to sensationlist ongoing storylines, and ridiculous soap twists. I don’t have the patience for it. Martin Clunes and Caroline Quentin really are the King and Queen of ITV’s light drama, popping up every couple of weeks. But I’m suprised that so much of the drama is still made up of two-parters that have to be trailed like mad, but then disappear from schedules when they’re finished. Surely they want to keep the audience coming back? And speaking of disappearing from the schedules, I still get annoyed that ITV will pull series mid run, even if there are few episodes left to show. When ITV air the annual comedy awards in December, it always seems to me that this is the only comedy they show all year – certainly, there are few if any sitcoms, and they all seem to be trying to hard. Finally, I’m glad to see that the last I’m A Celebrity didn’t do so well, since I’m fed up with the structure of these (and we’re about to go into a Celebrity Big Brother over on public service broadcaster Channel 4). The definition of celebrity is getting very stretched…
Channel 4
Lets start with what I liked – Shameless was enjoyable, although I’m already concerned that it may have jumped the shark. And Green Wing was OK in bits (sorry, I wasn’t a regular viewer and its length was wrong, but it was amiable). Channel 4 News continues to be outstanding, and there were some good one off series. Stalwarts like Time Team and Scrapheap Challenge are Sunday essentials, and they do a good job with their cricket. But of course they’re losing the cricket, and other sports that they’ve picked up with much fanfare are also slipping by the wayside. The Tour de France is an ITV 2 show these days. Eurosport shows the Italian football. And Rallying tends to get that plum 7.30am Saturday slot or 3.00am on Sunday night. Meanwhile, once upon a time you could watch Ski Sunday at about 7.00pm on BBC2, now it’s at a similarly early or late time on Channel 4. The T4 strand seems to encompass to much of the weekend now, with vast acres of imported fare like Smallville and The OC (actually shown with some contempt for its audience) as well as Hollyoaks filling up the rest. Then there are the interminable repeats of Friends on every day, every time and every where. I remain to be convinced that Wife Swap (or any of the other Swaps) are worthwhile, and of course many of C4’s big shows have finished this year. You do get the odd good film on C4, but you have to wonder why it should be this channel that shows films like Rush Hour 2! The 8.00-9.00 slot is unwatchable for me since it’s filled with property garbage, and I’d need another webserver to explain my absolute hatred of Big Brother. Like BBC2/3 the C4/E4 thing really doesn’t work for me. I’ve no problem with E4 being a handy repeats service, but even with same week repeats, it’s just confusing for the audience and lessens it overall. There are some good dramas hidden away here and there – I look forward to Yasmin next week – and they’re fairly on the ball with imports, with Desperate Housewives doing well last night, and Lost soon to start (although I worry about the latter’s scheduling and would hate to see another West Wing debacle). I still don’t think that C4 is doing what it should be.
Five
If C4 does well with imports, Five does even better, having tied up the CSI franchise as well as the terrestrial rights to Law and Order as well as The Shield (although this was shown disappointingly late). I’d hope that Sky will let them show Rescue Me when it’s had its satellite run as it would seem to fit in well. Five has done well for films – I was amazed that they got a screening of Terminator 3 in so early without it seeing any showings on satellite. OK, so it’s a poor sequel. There are still the low budget documentaries that fill up the schedules, and Five hasn’t had a really successful reality show, thank god. There’s the odd football game to be had, but for those that care, the late night US sports coverage is good – quite why the NFL sold the superbowl to ITV rather than Five who do the regular season coverage is beyond me. It’s ironic that so much US sport is available free to air, whilst we have so little homegrown live coverage now. On the downside, Five have signed Tricia.
BBC3/4
Two completely different beasts, but worth comparing with one another. BBC3 gets vastly more money than BBC4, yet in my view doesn’t come near it. The odd comedy works out OK, but anything with a significant budget was always going to end up BBC2 anyway, so it’s just an accounting game really. I think it’s chasing a too tightly defined audience – and one that’s shrinking (there are fewer people being born every year, and have been since 1979 – the population is aging). On the other hand BBC4 has had some excellent documentaries, has shown us more interesting and varied films than anyone else (and I most certainly include Filmfour – how long is that channel going to last?), and makes some excellent raids on the archives for themed seasons, such as the recent MR James Christmas ghost stories and the current Dennis Potter season. The comedy isn’t bad and I think it just needs a bit more science and it’d be perfect. The music is excellent with lots of interesting bands as well as good coverage of classical music, particularly during the Proms. Maybe it’s a function of age.
ITV2/3
Both on free to air, and even though ITV3 is just a couple of months old, it’s already finding its feet with same week repeats of some of the better ITV1 offerings as well as interesting imports and archival material. I think they need to pick up a few imports that aren’t cancelled during their opening US seasons, but aside from that it’s not bad. No reliance on films, which instead get showings on ITV2. ITV2 overall is less appealing with a heavy reliance on soap repeats, a few good football matches, and a desperate need for spinoff material from whatever reality show ITV1 is doing – Pop Idol, X Factor, Hell’s Kitchen, I’m A Celebrity etc. You’ll gather that this does not make for an interesting channel in my eyes. The most misplaced programme on the channel? David Letterman, showing tonight at 1.00am and then again at 5.10am. Tell me why they bought this? I suppose if I complain, they’ll drop it altogether.
Sky One
Seemingly heading into one of its regular schizophrenic periods when it changes from showing taudry sex documentaries (leave those to Channel 4’s Sex Inspectors) and interviews with Rebeccas Loos, and suddenly decides it wants to be HBO. So it goes out and buys Rescue Me, 24 and Deadwood, and we’re supposed to be impressed. But it can’t get over the fact that it has to get most of its audience through stalwarts like the invaluable Simpsons and sci-fi – where would it be without Star Trek and Stargate? I note that Sky are going to simulcast the first episode of 24 in a couple of weeks on Sky Travel which is their Freeview offering that was widely thought at the time of launch to be a backdoor way of launching a Sky One Lite service. Interesting idea, but I doubt that many people will really dash out to get a Sky dish installed in time for next week’s show. Sky claim to be starting a few more original commissions to sit alongside Mile High and Dream Team, so we’ve had Hex and the co-produced Battlestar Galactica (which urked America by getting shown here first and the sudden discovery that, *gasp*, people were downloading it from the net). But the reality is that they don’t have the budgets to fill out the schedule, and they’ll be back to quasi-soft-porn before the year’s out.
Everyone else
E4 will have a million new reality shows few of which will be recommissioned, and fewer still actually watched. Living has lofty ambitions but will descend into becoming Most Haunted Live TV until they’ve visited every stately home in the country. All the UK TV channels will end up showing exactly the same programmes. Oh, sorry, they already do that. Discovery will sign up a comedian to present a documentary about the secret weapons of the nazis. MTV will actually become a completely music-free channel.
So there you have it – Adam’s state of the nation report on TV!