Illegal Immigrants

Help! We’re being overrun by illegal immigrants. I know this to be true because both Mr Blair and Mr Howard are saying so.
They’re all coming through the tunnel or something. And they’re over-running the country like the aliens in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
For goodness’ sake, don’t go downloading the Government’s own statistics that show that the number of children being born annually is falling over the long term, leading to a decreasing population without us letting people into the country.
Anyway, people are falling over themselves to become cleaners, and nannies, and crop pickers and the numerous other shitty jobs that we just love doing ourselves.
So let’s just get this clear. We only want to import doctors and nurses from countries whose states have already paid for their expensive education – preferably third world nations – and teachers, because our own young don’t want a lousy job embroiled in pointless beaurocracy that even requires people to pay to become one.
We don’t need anyone else OK?
It’s nothing to do with racism you understand, it’s just that they’re stealing all our free health services, in spite of the fact that at the same time, we’re sending people abroad for their health services.
It’s neither here nor there if there are low paid jobs that need to be filled, and asylum seekers (OK – they can’t actually be “illegal” because at the moment, they’re “seeking” asylum. It just hasn’t been granted or denied yet) who want to work, must simply not be allowed to do so, and must instead be given handouts from the state to stop them making their own way in the world.
If for one reason or another, we’ve made your country unliveable, by, oh I don’t know, invading it or something. Then tough shit!


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