Written by Music

I Hate The Brits

Wrote this last week, but I forgot to put it live, so better late than never. And there’s yet more original research in this!
I hate the Brits.
I hate hate hate hate hate hate them.
I really don’t like them at all.
Now this is completely irrational, and I can’t exactly explain why. I suppose it’s something to do with morbid fascination with awards shows, allied to the “you’re all incompetents who have no idea about anything” attitude I take to most things.
I’m right you’re wrong.
I think the Brits are the epitome of this in that they’re nearly all elected by some jury of record company bigwigs. And is there truly is nobody more worth hating than record company execs (serial killers, despotic dictators and other evil people obviously excepted). They’re overseeing the implosion of their own industry, and they’re powerless to do anything about it. I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t have that feeling that they stitch it all up between themselves.
Then there’s one award elected by the public. And that’s the problem. The public are hopeless too.
Sure, there are some good bands that won awards. But you always feel that it’s the big four sharing the bounty.
To be fair, a quick analysis of this year’s winners actually reveals the following:
British Male Solo Artist James Morrison – Universal
British Female Solo Artist Amy Winehouse – Island (Universal)
British Group Arctic Monkeys – Domino (Independent)
MasterCard British Album Arctic Monkeys – Domino (Independent)
British Single Take That “Patience” – Polydor (Universal)
British Breakthrough Act Fratellis – Island (Universal)
British Live Act Muse – Warner
International Male Solo Artist Justin Timberlake – SonyBMG
International Female Solo Artist Nelly Furtado – Polydor (Universal)
International Group The Killers – Mercury (Universal)
International Album Killers “Sam’s Town” – Mercury (Universal)
International Breakthrough Act Orson – Mercury (Universal)
Outstanding Contribution to Music Oasis – Big Brother (Indie – by SonyBMG internationally)
Giving the following summary:
Universal 8
SonyBMG 1
Warner 1
EMI 0
Independent 3
EMI score 0 on the day that they announce a profit warning. Oh dear. If Lily Allen had won any of her expected awards, at least they’d have had something.
But let’s take a step back and consider the nominations too. Spending considerable time with Amazon’s Brit awards list I can now reveal the following:
Record Company (Total Nominations, % Nominations)
Universal – 22, 33%
SonyBMG – 14, 21%
EMI – 11, 16%
Independent – 11, 16%
Warner – 9, 13%
Total – 67
Compare this with the 2005 world music market share (not British note, and I guess 2006 figures aren’t yet available):
Universal – 32%
SonyBMG – 26%
Warner – 15%
EMI – 10%
Independent – 18%
Goodness – those are close numbers. There might even be a correlation there…
Of course, you could argue that market shares are bound to be broadly in keeping with awards, since Universal obviously has the most artists, they’re bound to win the most awards. Strange that this doesn’t happen in the film world, where the share of Oscars can be enormously at odds with what actually made money at the box office.
It’s all very gratifying to learn that the football on BBC1 that night attracted more viewers than the Brits.